


Vine of souls

by HanHan_Solo156



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Amazonas - Freeform, Ancient Ritual, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Traveller AU, Young Paulchard, psychedelics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:36:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24475873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanHan_Solo156/pseuds/HanHan_Solo156
Summary: Paul and Richard, best buddies since university, have been traveling for seven months. They face their biggest challenge this far when they decide to attend to an ancient ceremony deep in the jungles of the Amazonas.
Relationships: Richard Kruspe/Paul Landers
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25
Collections: Rammstein - Bonfire - May Prompt





	Vine of souls

**Author's Note:**

> So, we started on Discord channel this monthly challenge thing and May's challenge was "bonfire". This little Paulchard AU is my interpretation for the theme.
> 
> Traveling is one of my passions and now when I've been stuck in my hometown for months for obvious reasons, my Fernweh is really, really bad - I desperately need to go somewhere when it's possible. In the meantime, I only have my imagination and writing to console me.  
> The main inspiration for this fic is from one of my all time favorite travel series called Madventures where the guys of the show attented to something similar as described here. Also, an awesome series about psychology called Mind Field was my second inspiration.
> 
> A little disclaimer: I, by no means, try not to encourage using psychedelics or any similar stuff. This story is only fictional, an exploration to the mind and what could happen when entering a different universe kinda. When dealing with powerful substances like this you really have to know what you are doing.
> 
> But yeah, anyway, enjoy the story. ~

After graduating from university last spring Richard and Paul, the best friends who had met at the beginning of their studies, had decided it was time to do a long trip together before flipping a new page in their life. It had already been amazing seven months exploring different parts of the world - but like anything, also their trip of dreams started slowly but steadily come to its end. Their last destinations were South America and the US before heading back to Berlin.

Right now when the hot breeze of the jungle air deep in the Amazonas caressed Richard’s face, he didn’t want to think about going back home too much. When they had started brainstorming this crazy-ass idea at first everybody had thought they had gone totally nuts. They were even considered irresponsible. Comments like “what if you get robbed” or “it must cost all your savings and what are you going to do then” or “you will come back home after two weeks, you’ll see” had made Richard and Paul chuckle - and for a reason, as they had proved people had been wrong questioning their plans. Back then, the ending of the trip was something that was far away, nothing to worry about.

The idea of what on earth he should do with his life when he was back home, made Richard scared to death - and mostly because he was afraid he’d lose his best friend when their busy everyday adult lives would begin.

“What is going on in that beautiful head of yours?” Paul interrupted his friend’s train of thought. They were sitting in a boat they had rented from a young guy called Vito who they had met at a wild salsa festival in São Paulo just a couple of days ago. 

Richard remembered from that night they had been drinking a bit too much of Cachaça, homemade sugarcane booze, resulting in him and Paul dancing their asses off the whole night - and perhaps, something else as well. Richard gulped - he still hadn’t dared to ask had his tongue been inside Paul’s mouth that night. At least he had a vivid memory of that. 

Vito had been just the right person the two adventurous Germans had been searching for. He had kindly gathered a few of his acquaintances as their crew and volunteered to be their translator in the jungles. The purpose was to meet a local tribe and join an ancient ceremony involving powerful psychedelic ayahuasca, also called “vine of souls”.

Richard took his eyes off from the river and flashed a timid smile - his friend, the prettiest little sunshine, managed to make butterflies dance in his stomach still after all these years. “Nothing special… just thinking about our travels and… stuff.”

Paul nodded and gazed into the distance. Nature around was so unrealistically green it was even difficult to comprehend. “I’m wondering what we are going to do next might be our biggest challenge this far. I have no clue what to expect, to be honest.” He then turned to look at Richard and asked: “But are you still for it? You know you don’t have to try it just because I have decided so. It’s enough you have come with me here, but you don’t have to take part in the ceremony.”

“Of course, I’m with you,” Richard replied, his voice barely audible through the noises of the old motorboat. _Always, mein Paulchen._ “And I guess when we have come to this far it’s not possible to back up anymore.”

Paul’s only answer was an adorable smile and Richard cursed in his mind when his cheeks were set on fire. Luckily, the air was so hot he could pretend his blushing was caused only by the weather conditions.

~***~

When they reached their destination Richard was relieved: he had gotten a bit seasick so finally being able to walk on dry land was welcomed.

Their arrival had been noticed as an old, slender, and tanned man approached them immediately. When he was closer and about to greet them though he stopped and scrutinized the young men.

“Who is he and what is he doing?” Richard whispered to their translator who had just joined them after tying up his boat.

“He is the leader of the tribe and he is now measuring you,” Vito replied.

Paul turned to their local guide as well - he had a difficult time keeping himself still as he was both anxious and excited. “Measuring what, exactly?” 

“Measuring are you ready for the medicine or are you just once again two European party boys who don’t realize the holiness of all of this,” Vito said and swiped sweat from his forehead with the hem of his t-shirt. Moisture content must have been close to a hundred at this point. “It hasn’t happened only once or twice that western tourists have come here, seeking for some thrill and excitement, but instead ended up having even worse existential crisis than they’d had before.”

Richard snorted. “We are not mere tourists, we are _travelers_. That means we respect the local ways.” One of the reasons they had decided to make this journey true was not merely having fun, but because they wanted to get to know themselves - to get some kind of direction where to head in their lives next.

The three men didn’t have a chance to chat further as the leader flashed a smile and eventually took a step closer to shake hands with them. 

Their translator shared a couple of words with the old man with a language neither Richard nor Paul could understand. “His name is Joao Carlos,” Vito said, “and he welcomes you warmly to join his tribe for these two days.” He then chuckled. “Before he shows your accommodation he wants you to guess how old he is.”

Paul raised an eyebrow and looked at the smiling man before him. He looked healthy and he still had some muscle even though he was notably old. “Umm, somewhere around... 60?”

“68, perhaps?” Richard guessed.

Vito told Joao the guesses and the old man cracked up into laughter. “He is actually 96,” the translator answered. ”No one knows his secret, so don’t ask me.”

Both Richard’s and Paul’s eyes widened when they shared a glance and then moved their eyes back to the translator. “What, you gotta be kidding us!”

But there were no further explanations as Joao already gestured his guests to come with him.

Realizing that by every moment they were closer to the ritual made Richard tense. In fact, he had been unusually quiet during the 2-hour boat trip. _So, this will be it._

Paul put a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder. “We will go through this together, right?” He flashed a sweet smile and squeezed the shoulder gently. “I have a feeling we can trust the old man. Nothing bad can happen when we are under his protection.”

~***~

When it got dark and they were getting ready for the highlight of the evening a bonfire was set in the middle of the tiny jungle village. Along with Richard and Paul - the western guests who had gotten a good amount of curious looks and laughs along the day - sat Vito, Joao who was going to lead the ceremony, and his wife. Some people from the tribe had participated as well. 

Joao stood up and spoke in his native tongue with a serious tone. He raised his hands towards the sky and by every word, his voice got stronger, like he was summoning a thunderstorm. The old wise man was an equivalent for a priest perhaps, but nothing like Richard or Paul had ever seen before in their lives.

Vito leaned closer to his baffled friends and whispered: “Joao is now the shaman who is calling for the spirits to be gentle for us tonight.”

“And what if... they are not?” Richard asked. He had never considered himself religious or spiritual, but the atmosphere by the bonfire was undoubtedly sacred. He definitely didn’t want to be anyhow disrespectful or he was assured the spirits would strangle them to death or something.

“Who knows. We are not the ones in control tonight,” Vito replied and eyed both of his foreign friends. His tone was serious when he asked the one last time: “But I just want to make it sure: are you still up for this? When the ceremony begins there’s no chance to retreat. You either go for it or you can quit now.”

“Yes, we are still in,” both Paul and Richard replied.

After the prayer was done, the shaman started measuring the medicine individually. He stopped by every participant and studied each one’s eyes closely.

In their turn, Joao stopped at first right in front of Richard’s face and tilted his head. From the old man’s dark eyes it was clear they had seen a lot. In general, on Joao’s face there was an expression Richard couldn’t read and it surely made his control-freak self uncomfortable. It would have been so easy to just say something witty and joke about the bizarre situation, but words got glued on his tongue. What he wanted the least was to do something inappropriate now, so the only thing Richard could do was trying his best to stay still and let the older and wiser one be in control. The man knew what he was doing, right? 

When it had already felt like a decade, the shaman let out a chuckle and poured Richard's cup so full it was almost leaking. Joao also squeezed his young guest’s hands. Even though they didn’t share a mutual language, it made Richard feel a bit less tense. It was then Paul’s turn.

Looking at Richard’s cup Vito asked: “You know what?” His voice had a slightly amused tone.

“What?” Richard glanced at the cup in his hands, filled with something that looked like it had been just shoveled from a filthy puddle from a rhino’s bathing place. But even though looking disgusting, Richard somehow knew that the _medicina_ \- as the locals called it - was something much more glorious than it looked; something he couldn’t fully comprehend in the sober mindset yet. This whole thing was totally out of his comfort zone - but more than anything, he felt in the deepest corners of his mind that no matter what, he _had to_ do it. He didn’t know why, but he had to trust his instincts this time, not trying to rationalize too much - let go of all he had learned in his own culture and let the spirits guide him tonight.

Vito pointed at Richard’s cup. “I’ve never seen this happening to anyone before, but apparently he gave you a full portion.”

Richard gulped. “S-so is it a bad thing? Did I do something wrong and he punished me or, or…?”

Vito shook his head. “There are no punishments or ‘rights’ or ‘wrongs’ here. Joao just thought you’d need at this point to enter your mind the fullest. Who knows.” He turned to look at the old man who had moved from Paul to the next participant. “On purpose, Joao is not telling you too much info, or otherwise the trip will be ruined. Just keep your mind open.”

 _Easier said than done,_ Richard thought by himself, but just nodded.

The round was soon done and that meant only one thing: it was time to drink the medicine. Richard raised the cup to his mouth and swallowed the liquid as fast as he could. If the vine really was as powerful as people claimed it to be, at least it couldn’t be noticed in the mild taste - a bit mushroomy, but nothing special.

“So now what?” Richard asked and licked his lips.

“I guess we just wait,” Paul spoke the first time at the ceremony, the smile on his face never fading. There was an adorable glimmering in his eyes caused by the reflection of the fire in front of them. “See you on the other side, Reesh.”

At first, the world around them remained the same: Richard kept staring at the bonfire deeply in his own thoughts. It made him feel being at home again even though he was almost as far as he could get from Germany - both geographically and culturally. Fire had fascinated him since childhood and that fact had never changed. He had even in one of his summer jobs in a machine shop bumped into a guy named Till Lindemann who was a trained pyrotechnician. The man had asked Richard to join his training whenever he wanted. Richard had thought about it a lot and had almost attended but had chickened out just at the last minute. His ex-girlfriend’s words had been the last straw: “It’s useless and dangerous. You should grow up, Reesh. Get a real job and take your head off from the clouds.”

How those words had haunted Richard then - and still were. Arguably, they were expressed because their relationship was almost ending at the time than Richard actually being a naïve and irresponsible person - but still, he had listened to someone else’s opinions rather than his own passions.

Soon Richard noticed that Paul next to him was rocking back and forth his eyes closed, humming a random soft melody by himself. It seemed like the medicine had started to hit his friend - quite obviously as Paul was smaller than Richard so the substance went through his digestion faster. Paul’s reaction meant it was soon Richard’s turn and in no time, dimethyltryptamine - the chemical from the drink - started to take its effect in him as well.

The rollercoaster was about to begin - just that in amusement parks, you at least knew when the ride was going to end, but in this? No one knew. He just had to try trusting the universe to guide him.

The visual world started to change and in front of Richard’s eyes, the flames were getting enormous - yet they didn’t scare him, it was more like a welcoming sign. The more bizarre part was when he saw one snake and then two, three, and in the end, they were everywhere.

“W-why there are so many fucking snakes in here?” Richard asked, a hint of upcoming panic in his voice. “W-what the hell, are they… are they gonna poison me? Why is no one doing anything?” He held his head and muttered: “Fucking fuck...”

Joao noticed Richard’s concerned rambling and came to him. The shaman squeezed his young guest’s shoulders and whispered something to Richard’s ear he didn’t understand. Still, the unknown words were able to soothe him enough so he wasn’t going insane right at the beginning of his trip.

_Stay strong, the spiritual warrior and the answers will come. No fear._

Before Joao left he pointed at the fire and Richard nodded - it must have meant he should concentrate on looking at the flames now. 

The serpents remained though and Richard wondered if Paul saw them as well. The other man was still sitting his eyes closed and rocking back and forth, but now he had started singing louder as well, mouthing random German lyrics.

Richard cleared his throat and moved his eyes back to the fire. _Concentrate. Concentrate. Stay strong._

At the same time the shaman and his wife started chanting and the flames took shapes. Richard had to lean forward and squint. _What is it trying to tell me?_

In front of him, there was a pleasant figure of a dancing woman who was luring him into the unknown. “Come, _”_ it said, with a faint voice.

 _Is this a dream or reality? What is the difference anyway? Am I constantly living in a dream? Who the hell could define it?_ Richard questioned his sanity already when the woman dragged him into the flames.

At first, Richard screamed his lungs out before he realized nothing hurt. Everything was swirling around though. In reality, he was safely sitting on his place eyes closed and gritting his teeth, watched closely by the shaman and their translator.

“Follow me,” the flaming woman commanded and not able to do anything else, Richard kept holding the hand of hers.

He was at first happily following the figure but then he stopped, realizing something. Richard shook himself off from the grip and kept eyeing behind his shoulder. “W-what about Paul?” he stammered, “I can’t leave him there! We have to head back...”

“Just trust me,” the woman said and grabbed Richard’s hand again, almost forcefully. “Your friend will manage. This is about you now.”

When they were running towards something the surroundings were still twirling - Richard saw cliché fractal patterns. As a background soundtrack there was the chanting of the shaman that was getting almost deafening in Richard’s ears.

They stopped by a lake and the woman pointed at the water. “Here we are. You should take a look.”

Without questioning it, Richard kneeled to look at the water. The mysterious woman touched the surface with her fingertip making it ripple.

Like on a tv screen, clear images started forming on the surface. Richard saw several flashbacks from his childhood: His stepfather yelling at him the millionth time; him getting good grades from school and still, not getting the praising from his parents he craved for; him announcing he is going to study music, but being too scared so instead, choosing architecture in the end. It would lead him into a nice little job in an office, he had reasoned it. Everyone would be happy with his choices. Finally he could show the society and the world he was capable of doing _something_.

But was he happy with his own choices? The bitter answer he didn’t want to say out loud was no. For a long time, he had felt his life didn’t make any sense; not until during these seven months they had traveled with Paul.

When his friend came to his mind the images started changing, this time to his and Paul’s first meeting at a lecture on the first week in university.

_The lecturer had just started showing Powerpoint slides of statistics that no one understood at all when the door of the auditorium opened, revealing a panting small man with a red beanie. He looked like he had just run a marathon._

_“Entschuldigung, ich bin zu spät,” the man said, “can I still attend?”_

_The lecturer looked at the young student behind his glasses with a scorning look. “Well…” he started, forming the tension on purpose, “come in, but only this time! You are an academic student now my child, so it means you have to learn to respect the given schedules!”_

_“Danke schön,” the student replied bowing at the same time and rushed to take a seat from the packed auditorium._

_Richard in the back row was pretending to take notes when the newcomer was right next to him. “Is it okay if I sit here?” he asked and flashed a smile so sweet Richard almost melted._

_“S-sure,” Richard stammered and took his bag away from the seat next to him._

_Richard bowed his head and was too shy to say anything. Luckily, the newcomer was braver. “My name is Paul, by the way,” he said and offered his hand. “Nice to meet you.”_

_Richard had to now look at the other man who had finally gotten a name. “Umm, I’m… Richard,” he mumbled and they shook hands. “Nice to meet you too.”_

_Glancing at the screen Paul smiled by himself and mouthed: “Richard… I like that name. It’s very… royal.”_

Since then, the two of them had been inseparable - neither of them couldn’t care less they hadn’t learned anything from that lecture. In a farewell party before graduating they had even won “The Best Bromance of the Decade” award. The prize had been of course humorous, but both of the young men knew there was some truth hidden in it.

Coming back to the present Richard closed his eyes and inhaled, remembering the sweet scent of the other man. _Paul. My sweet dear Paul. I don’t want to lose you. I… I refuse to let you go._

_I want to spend the rest of my life with you._

“What do you see?” the woman interrupted Richard’s pleasant thoughts.

Richard had almost forgotten he wasn’t alone. “I see… I see the key,” he stated vaguely as it would have been the most obvious thing in this world. He blinked his eyes. “I see… see why I am here, what do I need but…”

“But what?”

Richard shook his head and tears burned his eyes. Around him, clouds started to gather, reflecting his darkening mindset. “I’m… I’m too scared… I’m afraid. I… I can’t...”

“Afraid of what?” the woman kept asking.

Now Richard trembled. He felt sick - so _fucking_ sick. How the pleasant first feeling could change into the complete opposite so quickly? “Because… because… I…”

“You can say it out loud, Richard. It’s alright,” the flaming woman said and smiled. “You kn--”

“I love him,” Richard burst out and slumped to his knees that had gotten weak. “I’ve… I’ve always known it. But I’m afraid to tell him. I’m afraid of this all. What if…”

“You know what you must do. You just need the tools and guidance.” The woman stepped closer. “You can do it, Richard. You have to stop listening to what others want from you and start making your own decisions.”

The honest words hit Richard right into guts - he wasn’t sure was he ready for them. Could he ever be? 

If not now when was the right time then?

But he didn’t have a chance to ponder any further as he had to stand up from his place and threw up - it felt like all his organs were coming out, burned by the so-called medicine, illegal drug, tea, or whatever it was he had just drunk.

Slowly coming into reality, the woman was now gone and Richard was back to the physical world. How long had he been tripping already? 5 minutes? 5 hours? 5 days? It was difficult to tell as the structure of time had changed. He didn’t have the slightest clue what was going on, but his mind was messy. Messy as hell. The fears he had pushed back were now coming to the surface.

The shaman’s wife came next to Richard and smiled despite his horrible condition.

 _Stay strong._ She pointed at Richard’s head. _You know what you must do._

~***~

A multicolored parrot flew from one tree to another, singing its lungs out at the same time - a sound signaling to its fellow birds there was an unknown primate in their territory. The cause was most likely Richard being too close to the colony while brushing his teeth in an early tropical morning. Another hot and humid day was coming and it looked promising - to be honest, Richard felt like he was looking at the world with different eyes than yesterday.

He spat out the last remains of the toothpaste and sat down after the birds had disappeared. Most of the things that had happened last night he remembered: the weird encounter with the woman in flames, seeing flashes from his past and most importantly flashes of him and… _Paul_. 

Then it was just puking, singing, more puking, and falling asleep at some point. He didn’t have the slightest clue though how much he had slept, but at least he had found himself in the morning in his and Paul’s hut.

Richard closed his eyes and sighed: they hadn’t talked about their experiences with his friend yet. It was inevitable at some point though as they still had a couple of weeks traveling together left. It was impossible to keep secrets from each other. Richard could only wonder how they had managed this far.

 _I know what I want, I just don’t know how to get it._ Yesterday’s trip to his subconscious mind had revealed the obvious: _yes_ , he loved his friend, maybe more than he should have had. The unfortunate thing was that he hadn’t gotten the instructions on _how_ actually express emotions this strong.

Richard stood up and tried to shake his thoughts off before he would ruin a beautiful morning being too sensitive. Maybe he should try to let go of his control. Maybe answers would come if he just set himself free.

But why was it so freaking difficult? The endless torment of being a human: knowing what you wanted while fear of failure and neglect kept the things and people you cared about at bay.

Today’s plan was going to be just chilling out and exploring the jungles contrary to yesterday’s heavy spiritual experience. Richard was delighted they had time to be with Paul - maybe even share moments together deep in the jungle as they didn’t need to have their translator constantly around them anymore.

Walking towards their hut Richard was interrupted. “Hey!” a familiar voice shouted. Of course, it was _him_.

Paul’s head appeared from a hammock. “Richard, do you have a moment?” He sounded official as he normally called his friend just “Reesh”.

“O-of course,” Richard replied and approached his friend.

The sight of Paul climbing from the hammock could have been amusing if there wouldn’t have been this weird official atmosphere between them. 

“Hey, no need to stop your chilling out because of me,” Richard said and chuckled, but his friend didn’t listen to him, but instead came only inches away from him.

Paul forced a faint smile on his lips when he asked: “I wondered where you had gone when I didn’t see you when I woke up. How are you feeling?”

Not meeting his friend’s eyes that sported a look Richard couldn’t read he just shrugged. “I guess I’m... pretty fine, yeah. How about you?”

“Absolutely fine,” Paul replied, but still looked too serious, out of himself.

They both perhaps knew what was the goal of this but didn’t dare to say anything straightforwardly. “Did you… did you see anything… last night?” Richard asked.

“Oh yes, many, many things.” Paul cleared his throat and put hands in his pockets. “But nothing I didn’t know yet. To be honest. last evening just made me see the obvious… more clear, I guess.”

Richard felt how butterflies started dancing in the bottom of his belly, but he still tried to act nonchalant. “Oh, okay. It was yeah pretty… intense for me as well,” he said and scratched the back of his neck. “Do you want to talk about that… stuff?”

Out of a sudden, Paul bowed his head - he usually was witty and social, but this morning he was acting like he was shying out or hiding something. Something was a bit off, Richard could tell. 

“Richard, I… I need to tell you something,” Paul mumbled and still didn’t meet his friend’s eyes. “Something I realized last night, because…”

“Of course, you can tell me anything.” Richard put his hands on his friend’s shoulders, noticing he was shaking a bit. “Is... is everything alright?”

“Y-yes,” Paul answered and looked at Richard with glossy eyes. “There’s… just something that needed to be done ages ago already, but I was just too coward to do so. But yesterday showed me that I shouldn’t fear… I… I should just let go.”

 _No fucking way, it can’t be…_ Richard gulped audibly. “P-paul, w-what is it?” 

Paul didn’t answer - just placed a finger against Richard’s lips. “Shh, enough questions.”

Then, he leaned forward and clashed his lips on his friend’s, they both gasping for air. Even in his confusion Richard answered immediately and slid his tongue inside Paul’s mouth. At that moment he realized that, _yes_ , it must have been not only his imagination: they had clearly kissed before in that weird salsa carnival. There was something so familiar in this.

It was like sailing home after being in a storm for months.

Paul withdrew while tears slid on his cheeks now visibly. The only thing Richard could do was to blink his eyes. 

“I just realized yesterday that…” Paul bit his lower lip, the taste of the other man still so vivid when trying to form the sentences he wanted to express. “I… I love you more than anything and I don’t want to lose you when we go home. I… I wish this could continue forever. I’ve loved us traveling so much this far and I’m so sorry, but I just c--”

But instead of listening to Paul’s awkward, yet adorable babbling, Richard took him in his embrace and squeezed him tight. “No need to explain. I know. I _know_ , Paul.” He let out a nervous burst of laughter and tears started to burn his eyes as well. “Because _I love you too_.”

As they had forgotten there were people around them, Richard and Paul didn’t notice Joao who was chopping wood and watching them closely from the distance.

The young men who were passionately expressing their love - _finally -_ warmed the tribe leader’s heart. Something in their auras had told him yesterday they just needed the one last push towards the important so this was probably it. His instinct hadn’t betrayed him.

Two souls, who had been so close yet so far from each other all these years, had finally had a chance to entwine here, in the deepest jungles of Amazonas.

Their adventures were just in the beginning.

~***~


End file.
